Today I sat down for a while and thought about the word resistance, and what it means to me at this time in my life. I see that although I am moving forward in many areas of my life, there are a few that are crying for attention. Yes, crying.
I found myself the other night blubbering away, just out of the blue… those deep guttural, what I have come to call ‘Soul Cries.’ They are the ones that you cannot stop, control or end. They are the ones that hurt your forehead so much you will think you will burst and the ones that create a red nose, swollen eyes and all that gunk that goes with it. You know the type, you have no choice, you cannot hold them in any longer, you just have to let the tears and feelings out. Hopefully, along the way you have some welcome relief and receive a message or two in the mix.
My messages were to get back to my writing. Finish some projects Kelly! It is after all one of things I really enjoy doing and it usually comes to me very easy. Just give me a word and I can write about it. I will pound something off and even find I am somewhat satisfied with the results. I feel that is the way our talents and gifts ‘should’ work.
Well, back to my word resistance… I resisted because I want something else to be my talent. I want to be really good at art, and photography and cooking and being in a mutually healthy relationship with someone I love who loves me. Each day that goes by without these things, I create a crazy story in my head as to why I don’t have them and it so often comes down to the old fear, I am not good enough.
I have learned so much in my lifetime having lived though and conquered issues that may not even be imaginable by many, yet somehow I seem to stay fairly happy, and balanced. Time after time, I get back on the horse, (so to say) and ride off into yet another sunset or sunrise. I am fairly comfortable with change, even if it not at my doing. I have learned to be more flexible and to get out of my own way.
When I sit and actually FEEL the energy in the word resistance; to me it feels like an elastic band… stretching out, going back, stretching out and going back. It seems at first glance that the band does not change, yet with each and every stretch, deep down in the fibres, it is stretching. It’s expanding, it’s transforming, it’s venturing into new territory. I like to imagine my life like that as well. Especially in these slower times when I feel like I am incarcerated in some kind of ‘holding cell’ from Spirit. Maybe they are saying slow down, focus, take time to rest, much is coming and you need to be prepared.
Maybe, there is no such thing as resistance really, except for what we create in our minds. I don’t really see any signs of it in Nature, everything comes and goes for a reason. A raging herd of Elephants don’t go through trees, they go around them. They take the path of least resistance. That made me think of flow, motion, and moving forward. If we can learn to act as Nature acts, we will be fine.
I am sure I could write more about this and likely will do so in the days, weeks and months ahead. Yet for now, and for this day, I was able to explore something a little deeper than I would normally, challenge myself to take a step out of my own comfort zone and get some writing done without feeling that I am not enough, or the need to be perfect.
I choose the path of least resistance.
What are you resisting in your life and why? Take a few moments of your day to explore it and create the change you would like to see. Let me know how it goes!