What our body experiences when it’s in a state of fear is similar to what it experiences when it’s in a state of excitement; what differs is the label that our brain puts on it. When we’re up against something that scares us we instinctively respond by going into a state of fight or flight. I’d like to add to another option to that… Fight, flight or freeze!
I am a freezer, have been for a while… I do nothing! Sometimes I can’t even verbalize what I am feeling as even my voice freezes; my feelings freeze, my senses freeze, and I shut down. I get the ‘deer in the headlights’ look even as I see ‘something’ coming straight towards me.
Since I’m a lover not a fighter, fighting is not an option and deep down I know that running away is not the answer either so I just collapse, I go deep, I ‘do dark.’ I shut my eyes and make it all disappear. What really happens is that I disappear, everything else remains the same. My monkey mind takes control and out comes the hamster wheel so around and around I go until one day my heart once again speaks up and says “Hello? Remember me?”
Then from the deep dark hollow pit that I created and encouraged to swallow my self up, I must rise again; climbing… like hiking on mud in a rainstorm, grasping at the ever failing foundation with every ounce of energy I have until once again I make it out. Have I ever thought about asking for help along the way? Not really. Maybe someone could have handed me a ladder or thrown me a rope or perhaps shone their flashlight on my path just for a moment. Maybe I would have accepted their assistance? Maybe?
I know Mother Nature is always there for me, so I bask in the beauty of the stars and the moon and feel the warmth from the sun and allow her to nurture me so I connect with her often. She speaks to me and gives me important signs and signals, yet I notice something deep inside still crying. Beginning as a whisper, a little one; a gentle one, I could quiet it with a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine or two or three. It sure wants to be heard; it shows me pictures in my mind and puts songs on the radio and tells me stories in my dreams but now is screaming “You WILL hear me!”
“Who are you?” I finally asked.
“I am your soul,” she replied.
“What do you want,” I really wanted to know.
“I want to be loved by you and one other,” she stated softly.
“That’s it?” I asked wondering if it could be that easy.
“That is IT, and don’t think for a minute that it is going to be easy! There are things that
you must learn first,” she said wisely.
“Oh great,” I thought, “now what?”
She answered, “You recognize Fight, Flight and Freeze but you have yet to recognize the
most powerful healer of all – Face!”
“I cannot imagine…” I began.
She stopped me sarcastically saying “I know!” She continued with, “Everything the Universe will bring you now will be to teach you… just as it has always been, but this time – you will know of the lesson in advance. There will be many choices and we know you don’t like them either, yet you WILL make them. Do not label them with your good and bad; that is not what matters here. What matters is that you are moving forward, thawing the ice in your heart so you can get back into the joyous flow of life!”
She kept on speaking; “To be scared is to be scar-ed dear one. Each fright leaves a scar on me and on you – the physical garment the holds me. It is best for us both that you invest in your self – learn to face these things that frighten you, face these things you call fear.” She paused for only a moment then whispered, “Are you ready to be un-scared? Ask your self, if not now, when? In one week, in a month, in a year, in another lifetime? Decide when, decide now and when you are ready, let me know.”
Oh, it all sounds good on paper, I thought as I imagined myself in a year from now, two years from now and then at the end of this life. There were a lot of blank spaces that could have been filled in… “So how do I face my fears?” I bravely yet not so bravely asked the wise one.
This is what she said:
“Know that you have the WILL in you, each and every one of you is born with it. It is time to invest in your self. Know that a fear named is a fear tamed so name it dear one and make it as comical as you can; if you can laugh at it, you are half way there. Ask yourself what is the worst case scenario and if you could live with that, and knowing you, you likely have already lived with much worse, oh and in case you fear death – you have already lived through that too and look at you now! What is the best case scenario? How does that feel? Hold on to that for a few minutes, maybe just a few minutes more… Does this make it feel any less scary? Then just keep on doing this until all of this what you call fear is gone, and trust me, something better will take its place. It will be something strong, something noble and something sacred.”
The word sacred comes from the Latin word sacrum, referring to the Gods or anything in their power. Be in your power. Make the decision to FACE your fears. Live sacred.